[Oct 20, 2012 @ 18:08]

Caution: Like the title suggests, this post contains sexual content. Reader’s discretion is advised. Translation: If you’re not “sexteen” and above, wait till you are! But of course you can’t, can you?

I’m sure you will agree with me on the fact that sex is the most interesting topic in the world unless you are impotent and nothing is interesting in the world. It’s the only thing I know we can talk about over and over and not get bored of, probably because it’s the most interesting thing that you can DO. Well, money and power are good too but only sex can give you an orgasm. And I don’t know any other feeling that beats that. I believe if we lived in an orgasmic state of mind, we wouldn’t have as much trouble as we do because hell yeah, sex makes life better. You don’t need to google its benefits, you have probably experienced them already; even if you are a virgin because there is “auto-sex” and “digital sex.” I can’t add the toy parts, that would be too much already for this city where they would show you blood on your screen everyday but the moment there’s a sex scene in a movie, they would skip the part or your parents would turn off the TV because that’s “inappropriate.” But then why do they tell you “Make love not war” turn around and talk to you about wars only? You know war even if you haven’t in one because it has been in your ears and sight since day one through all media. And somehow you are convinced that love is cliché. The interesting part is that the making of it is the oldest practice on Earth but still isn’t cliché. How does that become “inappropriate”? I think sex is a beautiful thing; even our culture agrees with me.

When Rwanda still had its soul in one piece, sexuality was as important as anything else that shaped it. Correct me if I’m wrong but it was one of the few countries in the world that prepared girls, from their teenage stage, to pleasure their future men as their aunts would take them through the talk first then the practice: gukuna (labial elongation.) On the other hand boys were also psychologically prepared to please their future women through techniques like kunyaza (the act of making a woman squirt) were a must during the act. What I get from this is, “sex was about pleasuring each other” as opposed to some cultures that prevent(ed) women to have pleasure during sex– excision– hence stop them from committing adultery since they wouldn’t be interested anyway. But this practice would also tighten the vagina for men to get maximum pleasure. In ancient Rwanda, men loved sex so much that they created a ritual whereby the groom’s father would be the first to have sex with his daughter-in-law (Gukazanura) on the wedding day (No wonder Rwandans look alike lol.)

Today things are different especially in Kigali, a city that aspires to be like New York, from what I see. Here, you have Rwandans that have come from all corners of the world to live with those that have been in the country forever. Both have one common goal: make Rwanda better and the nation proud. Those that returned home came with lifestyles that seemed different from the “natives” ones. I’m talking about the foods, the languages, the styles, the songs and dances, behaviors especially in public (kissing, holding hands, eating, drinking…) etc. I would even say sex styles. I guess it is understandable how the Rwandan umuco (culture) struggles to stand on its feet. I mean if we aspire to be the New York of Africa, don’t we wonder what’s the culture there? It seems like we don’t but once we do, we’ll stop judging each other, which we seem to master. Well, at the same time, preserving the leftovers of the culture doesn’t seem to be a priority. I guess because some issues are more important than others like reducing poverty, growing the country’s economy, maintaining its security and stability and so on… and here I am talking about sex. Hehehehehe!!!! Well, I do love sex and I’m sure you do as well. Anyway, I wouldn’t be talking about it in a time of war or famine or disaster, which means, if I can talk about it now, it’s probably the appropriate time for me. As for the platform, don’t judge me because I blogged about it unless you have done better. Plus, what’s more natural than sex? My son is only a year old but he’s hard in the morning when he wakes up and you too, sir. Sexual impulse is natural. Don’t fight it or fight me, instead help me contribute to our social stability because everything revolves around sex. Ask Clinton, Tiger Woods, Hefner, they’ll tell you money and power is nothing if you don’t have a good sex life. If you’re pissed off, get laid, come back to read this I’m sure you’ll see things differently. Just the same way you can give anything away after a great sex. Here’s a little story…

Steve is 18. He just completed high school. He has no job and somehow he believes he doesn’t need one because he still lives at his parent’s house and they take care of everything. His mother even buys him his socks and boxers. He would like to work, even in a neighborhood supermarket, because sometimes he gets tired of borrowing his mom’s cellphone to call his girlfriend Clarisse. And since he doesn’t want his mom to find out, he deletes her number and dials Tom’s just to fool his mom. But his parents wouldn’t let him because they care a lot about their “reputation”. They believe asking Steve to stay home is better than making some money for himself. Steve’s dad lectures him almost everyday to focus on his grades at school. In fact that’s the only topic they talk about. Steve respects his father but above all fears him so he cannot ask him, “Dad, is it okay to masturbate?” not even “How did you and mom meet?” because that would be “inappropriate”. He’s cool with his mom though he wouldn’t want her to know certain personal things. He would always lie to her every time she would ask, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

So at 18, Steve still feels like a boy and he is one. He is still a virgin and it pisses him off especially because he also has to lie to his friends that he’s not. Even Clarisse doesn’t know. They’ve never done it because the where has always been a problem. Clarisse is 17 and she lives with her parents too. They both can’t risk doing it at home because there are always people there even when their parents are at work. And if they ever try and their secret goes out, the story would end with a R.I.P.  

Since Steve has no job and can’t afford a motel because that would require…

  • A cab for about 15,000Frw to pick up Clarisse from home, take her to the motel and drop her back (and grab a Taxi moto back home because he’s broke after);
  • About 15,000Frw for food and drinks;
  • About 20,000Frw a night for the average motel;
  • About 5,000Frw for airtime to stay in touch with Clarisse (Oh wait, he has no phone. Lol).

That’s about $100. Shit! Unless he has a job that pays more than $400 a month, which means he can only get laid once a month [If you get a bootie call from Steve, you know it’s payday. Lol] and I don’t think he can keep up with that. Can you imagine how hard it is to stay in a relationship with no sex and when every time you get it with your girl, it costs more than buying five sluts? Welcome to my city where sex is great but rare.

There used to be cheaper ways to have sex. It was called house parties but unfortunately to have a house party, you need a signed authorization from the authority to justify the noise and parking “pollution”.

So what options does Steve have here? Tom’s “ghetto”!! There’s always a Tom- that friend that a friend knows who is independent and lives in his small house somewhere at the heart of Biryogo, that cool and mysterious guy that girls like but who never talks to them. So Steve asks Tom to lend him the house for a couple of hours. Tom is cool with it. Steve, excited, brings Clarisse to the slaughterhouse. She doesn’t seem to mind. Plus, it’s not like she has a say in this unless it’s a “Yes”.

There, they are doing the dirty. Steve is quickly in heaven. Is Clarisse enjoying? I don’t think so. The problem is she’s faking and makes Steve believe he’s doing great but does he know what he’s doing? I doubt it.  He just wants to push till he’s out of ammo. And, they’ll do this for many more occasions till something happens. Take note: using your friend’s house for sex is free but it comes with huge costs. One day or another, your girlfriend will get fucked there and not necessarily because she would want to.

So, Steve can only dream to finish college, get a job and finally be a man! But even though he graduates, he will still have to stay with his parents until he’s ready to marry. At least he can enjoy being a bachelor for about a year before he marries, a year in which he will probably fuck anything that wears a skirt till Clarisse finds out and the whole relationship dies, which is not a bad thing because some guys leave their parents’ house to marry hoping to finally have a real sex life. Oh oh! I guess their dads never told them marriage doesn’t make sex life better. It’s a complicated institution where you have to deal with responsibilities and emotions you never prepared for. So before you walk that aisle, make sure you know what the fuck you’re doing. And you won’t have sex as much as you think you will. Why do you think there are so many “single but married” Steves out there? Learn and experience sex as much as you can before you get married because once you are, it’s a different reality. Just make sure you practise safe sex to enjoy longer.

Those who think sex talk isn’t important are probably the image of the perfect couple outside that doesn’t even share the same bed. You are miserable because you are married for all the wrong reasons and it’s probably not your fault. You simply didn’t know and now you’re screwed in a city where divorce rates are escalating and there is no marriage counsellor or sexologist.

I only know one radio show (Zirara Zishya) that talks about sex and I know most parents think it’s “inappropriate” just like they’ll say about this post though they are the ones with affairs. A friend of mine was almost fired from her job as a radio host because she talked about sex during one of her late-night episodes. So what do we do? Shut the fuck up and let the society dissolve because they can’t talk about one of the most natural things in life? We all know you can’t have a great life if your sex life stinks. So let’s talk about it! Plus Ibishegu (dirty talk) has been there way before you and I. I didn’t invent it. The funny thing is when we’re drunk, sex is the only thing we enjoy to talk about. So why don’t we sober up for once and talk about it? Ladies and gents, what do you think about sex in this city?

4 Responses

  • Hold up, Is baby Ke already that a man? Tell him uncle Dustin is ready to mentor him about life in general and especially the subject here at hand! :) Anyway, this post is on point. However, I myself fail to understand how the above discussed culture could be restored!

  • Well to hell with taboos. Parents should show their love and talk about what made them attracted to each other like “your mama had that look, that walk, that talk, that… That way children wouldn’t have to rely on T.V.

  • Iam enjoying all of your work its got quality

  • Thank you. That’s very encouraging.

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